Friday, May 13, 2011

Middle Aged Spectacles

“I have frames, but I need progressive lenses,” I tell the young woman carrying the clipboard. Her ponytail flips and rests over the crest emblazoned on her sweater. Order of the Arrogant Retail Assistant? A royal warrant to dispense overpriced spectacles with attitude?
“These frames are too small for progressives,” she informs me authoritatively. I might believe her except for the fact that I already have progressives in them. Apologetically, I inform her of this fact. She seizes the glasses and holds them up to the light.
“These are not progressives.” Well, that is certainly perplexing.
“I got them from Kaiser,” I counter, actually beginning to doubt my own judgment.
“Fine!” she says, swiveling on her heel, “I’ll get the lab to check.”
The ponytail bounces to a backroom and then triumphantly flicks its way back to me.
“The lab manager says they’re not progressives,” she says, handing me the glasses. We now have a small audience of people awaiting the attention of the supercilious assistant. “I’ve worked here for four years and I can tell you they’re not progressives.”
“Young woman,” I say, using the expression for the first time but deciding to turn advanced age to my advantage, “You may have worked here for four years but I am the one wearing the glasses and I can assure you they are progressive lenses.”

Suffering from a distinct lack of confidence in the retailer, I head back to my healthcare provider. They can indeed provide me with lenses, and happily at $400 less than the outrageous price quoted by ponytail. All is going well until I attempt to leave the parking structure.
“That’ll be $2.”
I fish in my purse and come up with eight quarters.
“That’s 40c.”
“Excuse me?”
“You gave me nickels.”
Bloody stupid currency!
“I’ve been here twenty years and I still can’t tell the difference between the coins,” I trill in what I hope is a charming way, seeing as I am now likely to be taken for a crook or an idiot. She decides on idiot.
“The quarters are bigger,” says the young girl, holding up an example just to complete my mortification.
“You’ll laugh,” I say (although it’s unlikely from the look I’m getting), “But the reason I’m here is because I need new glasses.”

1 comment:

Simply Diana said...

Luisa! Solo a ti te pasan estas cosas...more stories to add...